i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
