a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
