Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
