Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize