I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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