Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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