Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
