Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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