pedialite and red bull = repair kit
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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