White coat. Heels.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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