we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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