He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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