the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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