If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
