I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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