Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
