Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
