Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
