I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
