I accidentally burped into my bong.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
