would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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