i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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