Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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