i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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