My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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