New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
