chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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