if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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