the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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