ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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