I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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