its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
