I am in a vortex of obligation.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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