chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
