remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize