Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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