Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
