he thought i was a dude.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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