they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
