Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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