Your mouth is God's brothel.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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