She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
