i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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