very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
