please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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