I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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