My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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