Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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