Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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