4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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