so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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