I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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