belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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