I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize