I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
