I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
