hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
