I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
