I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
