once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
