in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
