im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
