ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
