he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
