last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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