Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize