Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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