I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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