Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Randomize
