you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
