am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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