yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
