She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
